2005 Columns

Score another one for the State of Georgia. The Wrigley chewing gum folks have announced they are closing one of their plants in Chicago – as soon as the snow melts enough so that they can find it – and transferring many of the jobs to Gainesville. Employees were asked not to giggle and high-five each other. According to Wrigley spokesman, Spiro Ment, the company is making … [Read more...] about Jul. 4, 2005: Here’s Something to Chew On: Wrigley is Moving to Georgia

Now that the old geezer with the glazed eyes and stupid grin tottering around behind his walker has told us he is the infamous Deep Throat who helped bring down the Nixon White House, I have a confession to make. I, too, have a confidential source who shares a lot of important stuff with me and nobody else. My source has chosen to confide in me because he does not feel … [Read more...] about Jun. 27, 2005: Psst! Some Inside Info From My Confidential Source

For the first time in all the years that I have been dazzling you with my fancy words and intricate phrasing, I took a week of much-needed vacation. Knowing that you would be interested in what I did during my time off, I have brought along some slides. Would somebody dim the lights? CLICK: This is me on my first day of vacation. I am at the breakfast table with my morning … [Read more...] about Jun. 20, 2005: The Bear Facts About How I Spent My Vacation

Much has been made of whether or not to allow the Ten Commandments to be posted in government buildings, but not much has been said about whether or not the Commandments as written are appropriate in today’s fast-paced world. After all, the original Commandments were written thousands of years ago for a bunch of people walking around lost in the desert, with no maps and no air … [Read more...] about May 30, 2005: New and Improved Commandments on the Way