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Dick Yarbrough

Four-time winner of the Georgia Press Association's Best Humor Column

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March 13, 2017: Some Random Thoughts on Some Random Subjects

March 20, 2017 by webmaster Leave a Comment

After almost two decades of doing this, you think I would have figured out by now what pushes your hot button.  For example, I wrote recently about good customer service going the way of the dodo bird after I was stiffed in a sporting goods store by a couple of clerks who were obviously too busy talking to each other to pause for a moment and wait on a customer.  Not an interesting column, I said. Too personal, I thought.  You aren’t interested in my shopping experiences.  I was wrong.  It seems that many of you have had bad or even worse customer service experiences of your own and were only too eager to share them with me.  I am now more convinced than ever that good customer service is truly going to way of the dodo bird. . . .

In case you have been wondering, there is a God and He likes Georgia better than any place on His Green Earth.  (Like we didn’t already know that.) The Georgia Department of Agriculture has announced that Vidalia onions will make their annual appearance on April 12.  Mark your calendars.  There are those in other parts of the land who claim to grow sweet onions.  Piffle. Only in Georgia can you find the real thing.  Eat your heart out, rest of the world.  Vidalia onions are ours alone. How sweet it is. . . .

Perhaps it escaped your notice but Mr. Buckethead who gets paid over $11 million to play a kid’s game has changed his mind.  He has announced that he will no longer disrespect the National Anthem.  Be still, my beating heart.  As you may recall, Mr. Buckethead has been the quarterback of the San Francisco Forty-Niners which went 1-14 this year.  It appears that he spent more time making sure we knew he was unhappy with us than he did completing curl routes. I suspect he is toast there and will be seeking new employment opportunities and that his agent has told him to clean up his act or he might have to go find a real job.  Look up “loser” in your Funk and Wagnall and you will likely see Mr. Buckethead.  He gives new meaning to that term. . . .

Maybe our state’s version of Annie Oakley, Rep. Mandi Ballinger, R-Cherokee County, can explain to us that if it is so important that college kids be allowed to carry concealed weapons on campus, why her bill does not allow them to do so in dormitories, fraternity and sorority houses.  Does she really think that a deranged soul wouldn’t enter a fraternity or sorority house or a dorm and open fire?  Why the exceptions if she is so (pardon the pun) all-fired to allow students to defend themselves?  Ballinger says her proposal provides the “basic, essential right of self-preservation.”  Can dormitory residents call a time-out while they go fetch their guns and then invite a nutcase to meet them in, say, the parking lot where they can then exercise their basic, essential right of self-preservation?  What a crock. Gov. Nathan Deal needs to shoot down this misaimed piece of legislation. . . .

In the really good news category, Gov. Deal has appointed former state representative Joe Wilkinson to the Jekyll Island Authority Board of Directors.  Wilkinson served 16 years in the State House of Representatives and was an effective legislator as well as one of the best-liked.  He was also one of the hardest-working.  While in the Legislature, Wilkinson never missed a single day of work even when undergoing chemotherapy (which, thankfully, was successful.)  His legislative experience and his work ethic, as well as an open and easy-going manner makes him a great addition to the JIA board. . . .

Finally, the Woman Who Shares My Name got quite a surprise when she showed up for what she thought was going to be a quiet Sunday lunch with her family, only to find 75 friends, relatives and neighbors gathered to wish her a happy birthday.  This was a surprise party that had been months in the planning, the details of which, miraculously, didn’t leak out.  The highlight of the event was a magnificent piece of original music, entitled “Ode to Jane,” composed and performed by Kennesaw State University music professor Steve Dancz.  In the lyrics, Dancz describes her as “Loving strong and caring deep.  Mother, friend and wife.”  Amen.   After all these years, she finally got the recognition she deserves.

 

You can reach Dick Yarbrough at yarb2400@bellsouth.net; at P.O. Box 725373, Atlanta, Georgia 31139; online at dickyarbrough.com or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/dickyarb

Filed Under: 2017 Columns, Columns

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Dicktations: Here’s What I’m Thinking

State Sen.Steve Gooch, R-Dahlonega, has announced he is running for lieutenant governor.  Gooch is the guy who said that approving permits to strip-mine the Okefenokee for titanium dioxide to manufacture, among other things, toothpaste whitener is not a legislative matter.  It is up to the bureaucrats to decide. This, despite overwhelming opposition from Georgians across the state.  File that away and remember it when it comes time to vote.  I know I will. … [Read More...] about A long memory

Reader Comments

Yarbrough received over 1,000 email responses last year – both positive and negative. Though most of the emails he receives support his viewpoints, one thing is for sure: Dick Yarbrough’s column speaks to people and they respond. Here is a sampling of email responses Yarbrough has received in the past:

  • Thanks for writing what we all are thinking.
  • I am annoyed by anybody who presumes to know what Georgians think.  And that, sir, includes you.

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