September is a reflective month for me. Most of the year is behind me with just a few months left to go. What have I accomplished thus far this year and what do I have left to do? Same with life. I am past the September of my years with no idea how much time there is ahead. I can’t get back my yesterdays but, hopefully, I can learn from them and do a better job with my tomorrows.
I talk to my brother, Bob, weekly in Gainesville. I call them “no news” calls because we really have nothing much new to say to each other. Instead, we talk about our aches and pains, our impending doctors appointments and our kids, grandkids and great grandkids.
In truth, while we have always loved and admired each other we were pretty competitive in our respective careers. Much of that was my fault. Everyone knew he was going to be a success. Me, they weren’t so sure about. I always felt like I had something to prove.
After graduation from the University of Georgia, he began a career in magazine publishing. After graduation from UGA a decade later, I spent a few years in broadcasting before joining Southern Bell Telephone Company. Ironically, at a midpoint in our respective careers, we both moved. And in the same month. He, to Chicago. Me, to Washington.
Brother Bob retired as president of his firm and came back home to family in Gainesville. I haven’t quite mastered the art of retirement yet. After retiring from BellSouth as a corporate vice president, I went on to be a managing director of the 1996 Centennial Olympic Games. After that I began a new career as a newspaper columnist, where two decades later I remain.
Rarely do we reflect on our respective careers in our weekly conversations but when we do, it is with mutual acknowledgement of a work ethic bequeathed to us by our parents. But it was more than the long hours we put in. The actor Sam Elliott says success is equal parts hard work and good luck. I think my brother and I would agree we’ve experienced both.
As for me, I will take credit for my hard work. But the good luck was just that. Luck. Being in the right place at the right time. Altogether, it made for a wonderful career. But there is more to life than making a living.
There is a line in the song “My December” by the rock band Linkin Park that says, “And I just wish that I didn’t feel like there was something I missed.” Me, too.
I missed a lot of sunrises and sunsets. Oh, I saw them but it was on the way to the office or on the way home and I was too busy thinking about work to appreciate them. I will never take them for granted again. That goes for children’s laughter and for good health and friendships and for my family.
I never thought I would outlive the Beloved Woman Who Shared My Name. But I did. I thought we would grow old together. But we didn’t. I have endowed a fellowship and scholarships in her name at the Wellstar School of Nursing at Kennesaw State University and painted her portrait which hangs there. I have commissioned a stained glass window in her honor at her beloved church. But none of this fills the emptiness or the regrets I have for not being the best spouse I could have been when I had the chance. Sadly, I don’t get a do-over.
The French Quaker minister and missionary Stephen Grellet wrote, “I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again. I shall pass through this world but once.”
The iconic September Song by Kurt Weill and Maxwell Anderson states that the days grow short when you reach September. And that is where we are. For me, the days are dwindling down to the precious few. And they are precious. May I not waste another one. I am only going to pass this way once. It is September of the year and a time for reflection.
You can reach Dick Yarbrough at dick@dickyarbrough.com or at P.O. Box 725373, Atlanta, Georgia 31139
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