Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the third annual Pfft! Awards. You will recall the Pffts! were created in Oct. 2001, when the National Academy of Television Arts, Sciences and Loud Car Commercials couldn’t make up their minds whether to air the terminally boring Emmy Awards ceremony after the Sept. 11 attacks. Your intrepid correspondent, sensing that it is a poorer world that … [Read more...] about Oct. 5, 2003: Presenting the 2003 Pfft! Awards
Sep. 28, 2003: Practicing Random Acts of Kindness
Sometimes you can't win for losing. A group of well-meaning youngsters from a Presbyterian church in Athens recently dispensed candy throughout the downtown area as an example of "random acts of kindness." They placed one package inside an old cannon at the Clarke County-Athens City Hall. An employee spotted the box of candy and reported a "suspicious package" to authorities. … [Read more...] about Sep. 28, 2003: Practicing Random Acts of Kindness
Sep. 21, 2003: Quit Picking on Public School Teachers!
A recent newspaper column criticized Gov. Sonny Perdue for not doing enough to get rid of “incompetent teachers.” I assume the comment was intended as a political shot at the governor, but it splattered on schoolteachers and I didn’t like it. I have a son and son-in-law who are high school teachers. I know how hard their jobs are. I wouldn’t do it, and I doubt most of you would … [Read more...] about Sep. 21, 2003: Quit Picking on Public School Teachers!
Sep. 14, 2003: Mr. Yahoo, The Well-Groomed, Redneck Scalawag, Reads His Mail
I have had my backside chewed good and proper this week by irate readers and I’m not sure why. The Woman Who Shares My Name says it is because I go out of my way to be irritating and that if I act ugly, then others will too. “Pretty is as pretty does” is her motto. I make it a point never to argue with Her Highness, but I think the reaction this week is more complicated than … [Read more...] about Sep. 14, 2003: Mr. Yahoo, The Well-Groomed, Redneck Scalawag, Reads His Mail
Sep. 7, 2003: An In-Depth Analysis of the Democratic Presidential Candidates
A recent nationwide media survey of registered voters showed that two-thirds of them couldn’t name even one of the current nine Democrats running for president. The other one-third thought the nine candidates were the Three Stooges; the Pep Boys: Manny, Moe and Jack; and the airheaded Dixie Chicks. Obviously, the pollsters didn’t contact you because anybody who can’t name at … [Read more...] about Sep. 7, 2003: An In-Depth Analysis of the Democratic Presidential Candidates